To go, you must leave. Well, duh! Is that what you are saying? Seems like a duh, but how many times have you wished for something but you were too comfortable in your now to even try? Or maybe the road ahead will be a challenge. There are many reasons we might give for not risking, but there is one underlying reason, if we are honest. Okay, two.
Comfort & Fear. They are the anchors that keep us entrenched in safe harbors even if we are dreaming about unfurling our sails.
The older I get, the more these two enemies of change want to haunt me. We have worked hard for what we have. We have lived in the same house for 22 years. We have a nest egg. We have friends that root us here. We live in a community that suits us. We have a lot more to lose.
Even in our advanced age (haha), though, there is still much to be gained by taking our leave and going ahead to new waters.
TWO TYPES OF CHANGE – WELL THREE
The first change is that stuff jingling in your pocket or falling to the bottom of your purse. We will skip that type. The two changes that we all face are those outside us and those inside us. In some changes we a measure of control. In others, we do not. In both types of change, we have choices.
External Change vs. Internal Change
In a class I teach, we use the iconic book Who Moved My Cheese? It is a silly allegory about change. One of its messages is that change will happen. Our decision is whether or not we will adapt to new realities. The world around us keeps moving into the future. The only question is will you more with it. This is external change.
The other type of change happens within us. This is a different animal. The internal only changes when we prompt it. When we decide to change. I am a Jesus freak, so I also believe that without the Holy Spirit, any internal change is in jeopardy of not lasting long or not being complete. Self-help is great as far as it goes. But how can an imperfect being perfect itself? I can make strides, but I need the hand of our creator to truly become what I was meant to be.
This is not to say that I can sit back and just wait for change. That is not how it works. I must take the first step. I must want the change. I must decide to make a move and then make a move. To go toward something new, I must leave the old, leave comfort, leave some good things even. Nothing new happens without sacrificing something else.
In external change, that will mean giving up of things we might love or count upon: a job, a town, a home, our kids as they grow, our possessions. In internal change, that will mean giving up the familiar: habits, the comfort zone in which you operate, ways of seeing things. It may also mean giving up a few externals. A recovering addict needs to give up friends from her former life for example.
Sometimes the external and the internal changes we need to make are weaved together, like this. Hard to separate the two. What I have found that often an external change can lead to an internal one, and vise versa.
Do you want to go somewhere in your life? Are you wanting to sail the uncharted waters but fear and/or comfort are begging you to stay?
You have two options. Stay and live the same way you always have, maybe suffering the same old problem or being stuck in a situation you don’t like or seeing dreams go unfulfilled. Or go and just possibly be fulfilled beyond what you dream! If you want more in your life, you got get up and leave.